So for some funny reason I’ve become the person who tells others to open – even when it hurts or even when it might hurt – all the things you want are on the other side of opening. All of them!
Well, I can talk, I had the best training.
You know, (if you’ve read my blog you know), that I went through hell, with a man who couldn’t show his love for me at all (except for maybe in sex). At the time I was lucky enough to be around a whole group of people who knew that we open just in order to be open – we open for ourselves rather than for anybody else or anything.
So they reminded me to open even though all I expected in the face of opening was more hurt.
But it wasn’t like that. I opened. I acknowledged my hurt, I showed how deeply I was affected and even though it didn’t shift things with him much, it shifted things for me.
I was true. And I felt the purity of it. The acknowledging of opening and pain had me be closer to me, I didn’t deny these parts of me that felt so deeply, I didn’t avoid feeling them, I was just there, right in the moment and felt it all.
Now I know opening in the face of anger/hatred/rejection/whatever it might be feels waaaaay better than not.
I have built a ‘heart-open-muscle’. Thanks to M.
I recently reconnected with a woman who is very close to me and who things had been really scratchy with – and we both told each other what we were grateful for.
You know what she chose of all my qualities to mention?
My ability to stay open when I get hit.
I almost choked, as it hadn’t ever seemed like she’d received me in those times, when I opened and acknowledged my hurt, and here she was and it was the thing she chose to be grateful for of all possible things…
People have the chance to touch me. I let them in.
I am connectable.
A person who closes off to protect themselves is dangerous to connect to – if not impossible.
I am able to have my heart touched. I rather feel, connect and then hurt than not feel, connect and hurt at all. It’s all life and it’s all love and I want it all. And I want you to have it, too. So the person who is breaking your heart right now – be grateful to them! They’re breaking it open for you!
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