It’s now end of July. Almost two months ago I received an email from my Mum saying, amongst other things, that she loves me, and she’ll miss me but we won’t be hearing from each other much in the future, because she’s so confronted by my life style and everything I do around OM.
Then I cried. Two hours later I surrendered.
I felt that this was a phase change and the difficult phase wasn’t going to last forever. I suddenly trusted the Orgasm, and while it overtly didn’t get any better between us it still felt like progress. It’s almost as if when you’re plugged into the orgasm it’s impossible to go backwards. I was so grateful then for having found something that could be so big in my life that it would be able to absorb that experience of almost losing a parent but not really. That I had found something to have so much faith in, that I would surrender.
Today I’m going towards my home town. And I’m thinking about my Mum. I feel weirdly content. I’ve come to admit that I’m an intensity junkie and this situation with my Mum is somewhat intense. I kinda like it. It seems like the appropriate shift in our relationship. I didn’t realise before, but now I feel like there hadn’t been any progress in our relationship a couple of years before, it had gone stale a bit. We had good conversations about our spiritual- and self development when we saw each other – which didn’t happen very often. I liked it, I really did, and now I appreciate this version of a BOOM, that’s there right now.
A continuous silent boom.
I’m going towards my home town and I’m not talking to my Mum and I am weirdly content that life is flowing and we’re growing.
I wonder if this means things will change soon – considering I like it so much 😉